Big Red

President Barack Obama met Chinese President Hu Jintao for the first time Wednesday, prior to the pivotal G20 summit commencing today. Hu reportedly made reassuring noises to the US president about Chinese resolve to close the massive trade gap between the two countries.



"Ching chong bing bong," the Chinese president told Obama, "Ringa ringa ding dong."

For his part, the US president said his government will do what is possible to prevent the dollar from falling below the value of a single sheet of toilet paper.

"Sunshine, butterflies, baby smell," Mr. Obama detailed, "Puffy clouds and rainbows. Strawberry milkshake."

The two then shared an eggroll.